We seem to have some kind of ant problem going on over here.  For the past few days (okay, maybe it's been more like two weeks), I've noticed some little ants in our kitchen.  I've looked all over and I can't see the source.  It's not like that summer that Marty and I lived in Northeast and there was a visible ant caravan that marched from one corner of the room to, well, my spray bottle of 409 that I used to create the "pool of death".  They seem to be coming from my laptop, which is weird, unless now you're going to tell me that they're heat seekers or something.  Which would actually explain why they came so willingly to the magnifying glass that my neighbor Scott and I used to start them on fire when we were little.

I have no proof of this, but I've seen examples of the extreme ingenuity of ants in documentaries such as "A Bugs Life", but I think that the ants have created a tiny, almost invisible tunnel from our back yard through the house, burrowing into the kitchen countertop and coming up a tiny hole under the place where I keep my laptop on the kitchen counter. 

And then tonight, I believe that some of the ants have gotten together and are using our wireless connection, because I believe that they read the draft of this post and plotted revenge.  One of their army bit my toe tonight while I was standing innocently in the driveway.  I ripped off my flip flop and smashed it, and just to show the others I wasn't messing around, I proceeded to mash another fifteen to twenty before we threw down our stuff and ran in the house.

And I missed this flyer, but there must have been some kind of program this Spring encouraging the neighborhood ants to relocate to our yard.  All the ants in the city, maybe even the county, have moved into our yard and set up huge camps.  There are multiple patches about five feet in diameter with enough holes in it to make the surface look like a golf ball that cover any grassy area.  It's creepy, it's gross, and it makes you feel all crawly just walking across the yard.

So until the guy comes to spray the yard, I guess I'll have to just keep smashing each ant that crosses my path.  And start wearing socks outside.  And keep running across the yard, leaping to avoid the ant patches.  And annoying my family by singing this song all day long... (sorry, but the only way to get it out of my head is to try to deposit in yours).